:)

Here are some pics of baby Noah...

Baby Noah

He's two weeks from being 5 months. His "adjusted" age would only be 3 and a half months. He loves baby einstein movies, and for me to read to him. His favorite book right now is "Oh The Places You'll Go" by Dr. Seuss....the doc told me to hold off on solids just yet, but he is so ready for solids its not fair or easy to see his little eyes practically beg me for some of what I'm eating. Poor thing...so I started giving him stage 1 solids for 4 months up. He loves carrots, sweet potatoes, apples, PEARS! My Lord he loves pears, I feed him only organic solids either by sprout or earth's best. Oh yeah, and happy bellies. He really loves sprout though.

Dear Noah,

You cannot begin to imagine how much I love you. You light up my life. Your smile can make any worry or upsetting thing just disappear. I love watching you devour your pears and sweet potatoes. I love your wild curly hair that seems to be growing like crazy and more on the top of your head than the sides. lol....oh cuddle bug. I cannot imagine my life without you now.

Momma loves you baby. And I pray that your mind and your heart would be protected from the lies of the enemy that might come against you. That the love of the Father and of His Son and His sweet Holy Spirit could envelope you each and every day of your life.

love,

Momma

Little Man

Well the little dude is growing...he's three months already. Time has flown, let me tell you!

he's looking more and more like my baby brother if you ask me, but a lot of people say he's starting to look more like his daddy. I dunno, I just think he's gorgeous. 

He's started talking to his toys, he has this little giraffe from fadoozles that my mom got him which he loves. He loves looking at it and talking to it, smiling at it. It's amazing how much he likes that toy. 

he's looking at that toy in this picture. oh he's adorable, isn't he? On another note, my first nephew was born on the 21st of February. I was in the room when he was born. It was a very emotional experience for me. I wish my mom had been there.

David Josue Merlos

I'll be back later....

2010

So many things can happen in one year...its incredible. Last January I became a vegan, that lasted until April when I found out I was pregnant, then I found out my sister was pregnant again, I found out I was having a boy, my friends Lori and Adam got married in August, I became unemployed, my best friend started going to a new church, our church fell apart, my friends celebrated their one year wedding anniversary, Noah came six weeks early and four days after that my mom has an anuerysm rupture and she falls into a coma which she still hasn't come out of.

Theres always good things and bad things that happen in life. I know we sometimes wish only good things happened to us, but I thank God for the "bad" becuase I know He has a plan and a purpose and I trust Him, with me and my family. I know He loves me I know He loves my family and that everything that happens, good or bad, has to go through Him first...so if He allows the "bad" its for a reason. It was really hard to "celebrate" thanksgiving, christmas and new years without my mom. Her birthday is coming up on the 5th of january, she'll be turning 48.

Noah is turning 7 weeks in 2 days. He'll be two months on the 16th of january. He weighs 8 lbs. and measure 20 and 1/4 inches. He's grown so much...I was surprised today to find that 3 month old clothes fit him. Who would think he was a preemie?

So as you can see I find myself in this bittersweet place. I'm sad beyond my wildest dreams because of what's happening with my mom, its not that I don't trust God, I know He has a plan but it hurts to see her in that condition, I almost wish it was me instead of her and at the same time I'm happy beyond my wildest dreams because I have been granted the gift of being a momma. Exhausting sleepless nights and all. It's completely worth it.

One Whole Week!!!

Guess what? In 12 hours Baby Noah will be one week old!!!! yay! He is doing so well, he eats very well, always wants more, and he sleeps so good. When you feed him, he has the sweetest little look on his face that says "thank you for feeding me momma..." it melts my little heart. I love him so much!!!

On another note, my blood pressure hasn't normalized. So I'm on medication number 3 that they've tried. This last one seems to be the most effective, but it may not be safe for breastfeeding. They're looking into it, I almost fed my baby breast milk after I'd taken it. I asked the nurse, and she told me she wasn't sure. You would think that after her walking in to check my blood pressure while I was pumping, she would have the common sense to say, I wonder if this medicine is safe for baby. I was a little PO'd by that. But I'm just glad it was caught before the baby was given my milk. So for now I have to pump and dump, which hurts so bad. That stuff's liquid gold in case you hadn't heard! Grrr...

So, weekly report. Baby is great, he might be able to go home by the end of the week!!!!! Momma is still being "practiced" on to find the right medicine and dosage. Hopefully this will get resolved soon. Oh yeah, I got my staples taken out today. That was a little uncomfortable. But I'm glad they're out.

The bad news, (yes there is some) my mom had a ruptured aneurysm friday night. They came by to see me and the baby spent some time here and went home. She said she would come by the next day to be with me. Went home, was washing the dishes and started throwing up and losing feeling of her legs and hands. They called 911 the ambulance came and got her and she had to have emergency surgery to drain the blood from her head. Scary scary stuff. I was given ambien that night. Carlos was upset that my dad called and said something knowing that my blood pressure is high and I'm in a delicate state right now. But at least if anything were to happen to me I'm already in the hospital. And I would rather know whats going on than not. 48 hours plus went by after the surgery and she's starting to move her legs and stuff which is awesome! Thank you God!!! We had like all the churches in the city praying for her. She does have an infection, she was running a high fever. They said they would tell us more about that later. But her temp came down and her blood pressure and heart rate normalized. We have the best medical care in the world here. People come from all over the world to get treated and surgery and stuff here. So it gives me a little peace but what gives me hope is that I know God is in control. Always has been, and He loves my mother more than I can understand or know. He's allowing things to happen for a reason and He has not nor will He ever forsake her. He has a plan and although this is tough and scary, I trust Him. He has our best interest in mind alllllll the time. I know everything is going to be ok.

So that's all for now. When I get home I will post pictures since the internet connection here at the hospital is very limited. I can't get on facebook or youtube and it wont let me add pictures here for some reason. Boo!

Till next time :)

So baby Noah decides to come early...



born this morning 11/16/2010 at 6:45 am at 34 weeks weighing 4 lbs. 8 oz. via c-section :( completely not what I expected it to be like. I didn't expect to come into the hospital for a headache and not leave for two days and be induced then to have nothing happen and then to be told the baby needed to be removed quickly. They put me on a medicine called magnesium sulfate to help keep me from seizing becuase my blood pressures were high. And of course, anything thats running through my systemn is running through his too. Well after almost 48 hours of having this stuff running through me, it started to affect his heart rate. They then tried giving me an IV with a bit of glucose to help him wake up. The doctor violated me (for lack of a better word) by sticking a couple of fingers up my vagina through the cervix and touching the babies head. When that didn't work, he said "the baby needs to be removed right away, his heart beat isn't looking too good and I don't want anything to happen to him"

So, they moved me over to the OR, gave me the epidural, laid me out on the bed, proceeded to cut me open, took the baby out, started to stitch me back up let me see him and give him one kiss, moved me to another room where I was in recovery for about 45 minutes. I couldn't stop shaking, it was an involuntary action, I couldn't stop. I wasn't scared about what I was going to feel when I was obviously not feeling anything. One of the nurses told me it was completely normal. That it had to do with something with my hormones. So later on I slept, people came over around 4 in the afternoon and they took turns going with Carlos to the NICU to see our baby. Carlos took lots of pictures and videos with his phone which he brought back to share with me.

He is the most beautiful thing I've ever see. Of course I would say that, he's my son. But he's so alert and smart for being a preemie. When his passy starts to come out, he takes his little arm and pushes it back in so it won't fall out. He follows people and voices well with his gaze. He already pooped (that's a big deal for a preemie, trust me) and he eats like crazy. They're going to up his feeding times since he seems to want more and has been moved from level 3 in te NICU to level 2. Which means that instead of having to stay for 2 weeks in the hospital, he'll probably only stay for 1. YAY!!! This makes my heart smile so big!!!

Tomorrow morning they're going to have me try and walk around a bit and take me down there to see him. I'm going to hold him and talk to him. I can't wait. Carlos seems absolutely smitten over this little guy. He can't stop talking about him and saying how strong he is. He's a pretty even mix of the both of us from what I can tell so far. Of course, only time will tell. But he's a good looking baby if I don't say so myself. :) I love him...now to get him home soon and for me to get on to recovery and start taking care of my little man. I have to be very careful. My blood pressure is still a little high and they still have me on the magnesium sulfate because of it, but other than that, I don't feel too bad.

It might not be the prettiest thing you'll ever see...but its a new day :)



Listening to some Robbie Seay Band on this lovely fall day. Just finished reading Searching for God knows What by Donald Miller. That man is something special. He has a way of writing and explaining things that amazes me and my little heart. I love it. I've read Blue Like Jazz, Searching for God knows What and I'm going to start Through Painted Deserts next, need Father Fiction and A Million Miles in a Thousand Years...Also, I just found out that they're making Blue Like Jazz into a film that hopefully will be out summertime 2011.

I've got a pesky cough that won't go away, I'm just thanking Jesus that my throat doesn't hurt! I had to get some Robitussin DM last night cuz I was coughing so much and my abdomen felt like it was going to burst. Too much pressure, I'm excited about seeing my little boy but I'm not ready to see him just yet, lol...on another note, my belly has grown like in the past two days. I feel huge!!! Although I'm not, all my clothes still fits (like pre pregnancy except my jeans and slacks of course :))

I've had the most strangest dreams lately...vivid too. Some a little too scary for my taste. Last night, I dreamt I was going into labor, but that was probably because I was reading about it before going to sleep. But there have been other nights I'm like "whoa, where'd that come from?"

I also found a list of things to do with your baby from new born to infancy to him being a toddler, things to develop motor skills and learning that I found very interesting. We got the baby's car seat and stroller in the mail on Wednesday! I took the car seat out to look at it and I put my boyfriends stuffed animal he's had since he was a baby in it. He laughed then told me to calm down...lol. Here's a picture...

That stuffed animal is 24 years old that is why it doesn't have eyes a nose or a mouth. It will be Noah's as well if he'll have it. :) I will look for some eyes before then though cuz it does look kinda creepy the way it is. lol...

The room will be getting a fresh coat of nice deep blue green paint this weekend or next! woohoo! Some minor repairs and some deep cleaning (yes I'm nesting) crib will be put in place and the room will be almost finished for baby.

I'd love to hear Robbie Seay Band live...I love live music. It just sounds so good, and the whole feeling of the music going through you is awesome!!! It ruins me for a couple days though for listening to my iPod or the radio, its just not the same...

here are a few belly pics to wrap up my blog for today...

Eight months pregnant :) I'm kinda disappointed that my belly

button isn't sticking out. Maybe in a bit more. It's definitely dropped since last month though.

till next time....